So…in case this isn’t clear by the fact that I write romance novels, let me put it to you straight-I love romance! Give me a book where I can root for Mr. X and Miss Y to end up together and I have my next Saturday afternoon all planned out. That being said, as an avid romance genre consumer and producer, I think it’s exceptionally important to guard our hearts against romantic comparisons.
I’m sure most of you have heard about or experienced the damaging effects social media can have on your mental health.
People post their beautiful family photo or their stunning home and you look around at the play doh squashed into the cracks of your kitchen floor and wonder why you can’t be as fabulous as they are. I think the same thing can often happen when we read a romance novel.
Sure, we love the happy gooey feeling we get reading about Mr. X and Miss Y, but we can also find ourselves wondering why our own Mr. X doesn’t declare that we must allow him to tell us how ardently he admires and loves us, even though by doing so he will both anger his wealthy, influential aunt and go against societal expectations for a man of his class. I mean, where can you get a Colin Firth man like that?
Okay, clearly, I’m being a little bit jokey, but the sentiment remains. We have to be on guard
against allowing ourselves to be drawn into comparisons between leading men and our own
boyfriends or husbands. Does that mean we need to stop reading romance novels? Um, no.
First off, I write romance novels, so if you stop reading them, that’s not good for me. (Insert sitcom laugh reel here) Secondly, and far more importantly, I think there’s something absolutely beautiful about the romance genre that can truly nurture our souls.
When I read a romance novel, especially one for the Christian market, I walk away with a profound sense of God’s love for us. Maybe that doesn’t strike a chord with you, so let me expand on that point. When I read the love story of Mr. X and Miss Y, I see an illustration of the way our loving Father desires relationship for us. Certainly God has called many of us to be single (hello, 1 Corinthians 7), but he also clearly states in Genesis 2:18 that “It is not good for the man to be alone,” so he, “will make a helper suitable for him.”
YOU GUYS! God loves us so much that
he has purposefully designed a “suitable
helper” for us. (Again, I recognize some
of us have been called to be single, but
none of us will be single forever. Jesus is
our bridegroom and we will each be with
him one day in the new creation as his bride, the church. And Jesus is far more than just an earthly suitable helper.)
Reading love stories reminds me of my own love story. Of the way that first time holding hands sent fireworks through me, or the way a shared laugh with my husband still makes me feel. Sure, now that we’ve been married almost ten years, we’ve come out of the ‘all we can think about is each other’ phase of the relationship, but as Chandler from Friends, so wisely told Monica when she freaked out about this very thing, “I’m more excited about what we have now.”
I feel truly blessed when I read a love story, and see the way God has a heart for each of his children. Sure, these novels are fiction, but God’s love for us and his desire for us to be intimately connected is definitely not.
So, next time you read a romance novel, stop comparing and just get excited about your husband (or future husband), because they truly are an expression of God’s love for you.
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